Final 8th: Getting Unstuck To Reach Your Goals With Bridgit Dengel Gaspard

The Tale of the Jumping Mouse is a story about one mouse’s dream and determination to reach a far-off land. At the end of the story, the mouse transforms into an eagle so that it may reach its goal. People are like the jumping mouse. They get stuck in their goal or in their final eighth. They need to find a way to get unstuck so that they can transform into an eagle and reach their final eighth. Join your host Corin Grillo and her guest Bridgit Dengel Gaspard in accomplishing your goals. Bridgit is the author of Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals. Learn how to communicate with your other selves and unlock your true potential. Listen in to today’s conversation to learn more about her book and how you can go beyond your final eighth.

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Final 8th: Getting Unstuck To Reach Your Goals With Bridgit Dengel Gaspard

In this episode, I sit down with Bridgit Dengel Gaspard who is an ultra badass former performer. She is a therapist and the author of The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals. She teaches a powerful cool technique called Voice Dialogue that can help you recognize and free yourself from those sneaky hidden internal conflicts that are blocking your ability to achieve goals. I love helping people walk through these steps in whichever way I can find them. What we do on this show is pepper you with options and this is a beautiful option.

We talk about ways to begin seeing things from a higher perspective. The same incident can be seen in a lot of different ways. She talks to you about that. We also talk about how to embrace all of yourself. Not just the part of yourself that you like or you feel that everyone else likes but even the dark and ugly, and why so many people find themselves unable to reach their long-term goals. If you find yourself stuck, stumbling and struggling, this technique that you are about to learn and that we are going to talk about with her could be the ticket. I hope you enjoy this episode.

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Bridgit, I’m happy that you are here because a lot of what you do is important, especially to help us refocus because 2021 has been a very fragmenting and traumatizing year. Before we get to your book and what you do, do you mind if I play a little cartograma?

Yes, please.

I don’t go deep into reading. They are just one little blurb. I want you to feel into the blurb and let me know what moves inside of you with it. We are going to connect with your posse here. Everybody has got their little invisible posse. Here it is, it’s an eagle. Here’s the message, “You are learning all aspects of spiritual connection and reaching new heights.”

I’ve got chills all through my body. Shall I share?

Yes, I love to know.

Have you ever heard of The Story of Jumping Mouse?

No.

I’ve got it through a vision quest leader that I was on years ago. It comes from traditional folklore but it was not of his folklore. He’s Western American so I’m not sure of the exact source but it was very moving. The story of Jumping Mouse is this. The Jumping Mouse would jump and at the top of his jump, he would see a little hint up a mountain, and he would tell the other mice that he lived with, “Jump higher and look. There’s something well beyond our field.” He would look and they would be eating their stuff saying, “Whatever.” He knew it.

Jumping Mouse eventually couldn’t stand it and left the field and the safety of the field. He started to head toward this mountain that he had a sense of. The fish helped him across the water as entails and the snake helped him through the rocks. He was stopped at one point because he got successful. He got fat and happy so then he forgot about his dream but he jumped and realized, “The mountain, I want to go.”

Go back to your center and connect with who you are.

He went to the mountain and he finally got to the bottom of the mountain. He looked up and he’s overwhelmed with the beauty of it. At that moment, an eagle came by and ate him, and then the mouse was suddenly seeing from the eagle’s eyes and not to see the top of the mountain. That was the story of my vision quest. Here I have the eagle. As I finish my book and have it out in the world, I’m getting chills. I knew I wanted you to pull a card.

I’m getting chills, too. It’s such validation. With the book and with everything that’s happening, how are you looking through those eagle’s eyes? What’s it looking like?

I have been working on my book, The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves To Accomplish Your Goals for a long time because I was always getting stuck in front of the finish line. That’s how the term, the final eight came up one day, whole because I worked with so many clients. It’s the same thing, dedicated, hardworking, talented people and it was a mystery. I didn’t understand why they were suddenly stopping. I certainly recognized it in myself but I didn’t understand what was going on.

When I explained the final eighth concept like, “You seven is the way there. This is a thing. There’s something about it because it was people from creative fields, lawyers and bankers.” It did not matter, is my point. I feel like the eagle is the one that gets you over the final eighth and that thing you have been glimpsing and even working toward. In the tale, Jumping Mouse is moving toward that mountain sometimes a little less disciplined than other times. The mountain does call and we get stuck.

That’s how I’m taking it because I’m in my final eighth and I’m heading into my first next eighth. Thank you for reminding me because in the inner selves, we have different parts and that’s what’s happening. We have parts for the goal and parts against the goal. You invoked my eagle selves, the ones that are soaring, connected and believe in transformation.

The feeling that I’m getting launched into is being able to see from a higher perspective to see all the elements. Sometimes when we are nose to the grindstone, down on the ground, one thing at a time, we have a hard time keeping and holding that eagle eye. They have excellent eyesight too when I’m feeling into it so they can see clearly from a higher perspective but they also can have extreme focus. That’s the one that swallows you up and takes you to the final.

It’s a story of integration and also owning your power. Now that you say that about the eagle eyes, they can get what they need. They spot it up in the sky. Unfortunately, for the mice, it’s them that they want but they know where their nurturance is. I’m taking that away from what you said. They look, take their eyes and spot. “I need that. That’s going to feed me.”

Of all the things down there, it comes right in. Thank you, eagle. I can’t believe that was part of your vision quest, too. That is amazing. I love that.

I’m a former performer. I still live in New York City but I was a performer in New York City and I did comedy. That’s when my writing taking seriously started because I started to write comedy, write shows, and do some entertainment journalism. At a certain point, I was stuck. I felt like I wasn’t doing the vertical move. If I wasn’t going to make a vertical move, I didn’t want to continue. That was just me. If it wasn’t going to move up into higher realms, then I had to think of something else. That was my big question when I went to the vision quest, “Do I stay performing?” At the time, the answer was, “Yes for now.”

All the things I did as a performer eventually fed me and I found this technique. I stumbled upon it synchronously called Voice Dialogue, which as a performer, I loved the idea. It electrified me when I read about it because your healthy personality consists of many different parts, the alter egos in ourselves. I thought, “This is amazing.” It hunted down the developers, which meant I’ve got their 1-800 number. It’s Dr. Hal and Sidra Stone and they became my mentors.

I started to get facilitated, which means you go to parts of yourself like a perfectionist and a slob. Each part gets to talk from their point of view. It was so incredible. They all live in our bodies and you will never ask your perfectionist to lower their standards or your slob to sit up straighter. You go back to the center and then you have access to the energy and then you get to decide, “This day is slab day because I don’t feel being all perfect.” It could be the opposite, “This day is the day I need to be at my finest because it’s important to me for whatever reason.” Instead of reacting, you get to have a conscious choice. When I was performing, I loved it because you could use it to get into the energies of different characters, especially with auditioning. It’s intense.

Are you a method actress? What’s the other kind?

 

I am a bit of a method actress, which means you have to want to go into yourself and bring out parts of yourself to then feed the character.

Not to get too far off-topic but I have been introducing my babies to all the good ‘80s movies. What I love about the ‘80s movies is they are inappropriate for children and teenagers. Even the things that are about teenagers are still so freaking inappropriate compared to our standards now but I love watching it because it opens up topics like sexism and all the stuff that was alive and well in our art forms back then and still now but that’s so much more obvious back then.

One of the things I love to do is read about the trivia of the movie so that I could be like, “In this scene, this is what happened or these two were dating in real life.” It amplifies the fun. Judd Nelson was so good at his character that he almost got fired during the movie because he was such a dick to John Hughes and the staff. He was coming after them, pranking them, being exactly like he is in a movie. He was doing this the entire film. He stayed in character the entire time offset, on set. There’s a thing about method acting but it’s going to warm us up for the work that you do.

You bring up a good point because a lot of actors are introduced to Voice Dialogue as part of an acting technique. It’s the Eric Morris technique. Daniel Day-Lewis apparently did that from My Left Foot. Especially if an actor is doing some type of physical distinctive state or disability, they don’t leave it because it feeds them but you have to be able to go back to the center. You’ve got to be able to connect to who you are.

Often with performers if they are not able to do that second part, connect to who they are and leave the costume in the green rooms, then they could run into trouble at home or on the set. It’s a fine line. You can get away with more when you are already a star. In terms of mental health, you do have to be able to come back to yourself and then have fun with your character. That’s the thing with the Voice Dialogue, which I have a whole guide in my book so people know step-by-step what to do. The idea is that it’s healthy. A healthy personality has many selves. It’s not Sybil or dissociative identity to each other.

When people start going, “I have all these pieces with me,” I’m sure that they go, “Are we talking about multiple personality disorder?” Your book is called The Final 8th. When it comes to the voice dialogue, can you share with our readers why it’s important to get a feel for who’s living inside of you like that? We will then get into how to work with them and stuff like that. Give us a little bit more why.

The why is because you are stuck. In other words, if you have a goal and you go do it, great. If it’s a mystery why you are stuck, you don’t understand it, then it’s an inside job and that’s why. The more you are aware of which selves are for the goal, which parts of you, which alter egos have done the work and then which ones aren’t, and you go to that self and you might go to a resistor self. This happened with a client. We went to the resistor self and I expected this hunkering down. Some of us are very young.

For example, if you are running your career with your four-year-old acting out selves, then you need to know that so then you can pull them in and run your career with the parts of you that are much more appropriate for that goal. This was an actress who was moving up in the field and she was doing great, and then she suddenly started self-sabotaging, to use a commonly used word.

We went to her resistor, the one that didn’t feel like following up on her leads. I expected this four-year-old energy hunkering down. What I’ve got was a self that moved in like this and shared a secret and said, “If my client goes up in her field, she will have an alcohol problem because she won’t be able to manage all of the parties she will be expected to go to and the networking.”

I was stunned. I had worked with her for a while and that had never come up. When we went back to the center, she started crying because that self was accurate. She wasn’t an alcoholic but because she didn’t know how to say no, because she had a little bit of social anxiety, a more introverted self, that felt comfortable on stage but she didn’t know how to handle life without rules. Our work shifted and we had to cultivate the parts that could say, “No or I’m going to be home by 11:00 PM,” or whatever it is because the truth is she did have to go to these events if she expected to move up in her field. It was a social field.

That’s why you go within because they are going to tell you what the problem and the solution are. All of ourselves have wisdom. If you can do it, go. It’s not a final eighth issue. You might be in the final eighth but it’s not a final eighth stuck point. For example, if you want to be a licensed therapist in New York, you need to get a license by getting a Master’s in a couple of different ways. It’s not a mystery. You have to go apply for the Master’s and it’s a lot of work but it’s not a mystery.

If you have applied, you are completely capable and you have the finances and the time but you never go start the actual Master’s program that can get you to the goal you say you want, then we would say, “What’s happening there?” You might find out that some of those selves have a terrible memory of test anxiety, then you would talk to that self and either figure out how to handle getting a Master’s or maybe there’s a different way. Maybe there’s an eagle to be found within. Maybe you want to be a healer but maybe you don’t have to be a licensed therapist to be a healer. It opens up what could resonate with you. That’s why it’s good to know what parts are active and with wisdom stopping you.

Learn all the aspects of spiritual connection and reach new heights.

In helping your clients contact these parts of themselves, once they start a conversation and find the balance that they can move to that last hurdle?

It reveals and releases the double binder because it is a double bind. Parts are for and parts are against. That’s the other thing. For my group of people, working harder is neither the problem nor the solution. A lot of times when there’s stuckness, then the selves that want to do it are like, “Let’s work harder.” Some people could work harder and they should but a lot of people are like, “How? You can’t work harder.”

It’s more vulnerable to enter the parts of you that you don’t know or don’t like as well, and you have gone as far as you can. You’ve got to start to embrace other parts of you because you need them to cross the finish line. The other thing is often, this is where you have permission internally and this is where you don’t.

A lot of people have permission to work hard and be a contender but they don’t have permission internally to be a victor and triumphant. We have to find out, “What’s going on that success is scary?” The final eighth is a success issue and there aren’t a lot of respect for success issues. The violin comes out. A lot of people will meet for coffee and kvetching but they will not meet for java and joy.

I was indoctrinated to be ashamed of myself and guilty at a young age but becoming successful has introduced me to even more, in a way, shame. I have to watch my words if I’m talking about successes than I do when I talk about my weight. People love it when I talk about my weight but if I was talking about, “This is amazing.” It’s strange how careful we have to be when it comes to sharing our joy.

I have a whole chapter called Practicing Safe Success, which means how do you maintain your championship season? For this reason, if you are asking your friend who for whatever reason is incapable of supporting your success, they take it as a rejection probably of them that they are not even conscious of, you have to navigate like, “I can keep this person as a friend in a particular way. If I continue to share my joy with someone who continues to sabotage it, then whose fault is it?”

That’s why it’s so amazing to be in the right association to be with people or to have friends that totally get it, that are somewhat driven and have their power. What I find is that people who easily displace their power don’t have that core sense of self yet, they are working on it, they are the more tricky type. I love that you mentioned that in the book.

Over the years of doing sessions with my clients as well, especially when it comes to financial success, what we discover in different ways and what you are talking about is that there is a fear of them making more money than the people they know. Being more successful than their parents. Inherently, on some level, they might feel like they will lose people if they are too successful. That’s the truth and that’s what I tell them, “You might lose people.” I love that you are saying that.

My book talks about that because a lot of the time, the reason you are stuck is it’s a distorted loyalty. You are being loyal to the early messages. I love what you said, “Indoctrinated,” to the early indoctrinators and their indoctrination. You have to see that so you can make the conscious choice and also grieve. As you know, a lot of times this process is full of emotions. Every part of us has gifts as well as this thing.

The other thing that people don’t talk about is how people don’t succeed because they fear envy. What a lot of people don’t understand is to be envied and to envy are this same coin just different sides. Most people understand the pain of envying and that it’s very painful but they don’t understand that it’s also painful to be envied. Not everybody but for a lot of people, that’s a terrible position to be in. They avoid the whole thing by not being enviable but at their own sacrifice.

It’s a complete abandonment of self, your dreams and your desires. What I don’t like to say about fear is it’s ungrounded. Sometimes there are real things that will happen. If you already have a contentious relationship with your sister and then you start kicking ass, what’s going to happen? It might put a bigger wedge between you and them. That’s an amazing point. In working with these inner figures, you can become aware of that and then do what?

Two things, you can make more conscious decisions and you feel your feelings like the sister example. You have to decide but you don’t have to live in the sibling relationship you had between 0 and 14 or whenever the years we were living together. A lot of times, even success doesn’t necessarily mean saying goodbye to that person. They are still in your life but it might be even just saying goodbye to the type of relationship it was.

 

There’s an exercise in the book that I love and you can do this with any part. All parts have gifts. Even your envious part has a gift. If you feel like you are envying somebody if you would do this with me, what do you think some gifts of you envying someone? Think of someone you envy. You then shift your relationship with something uncomfortable like envy in this process.

I got to see if I can feel into that one. Other ones might be a little easier. When I think of envy, it’s a motivator. It could be a motivator to like, “That person sucks. If they can do it, then I could definitely do it better.” That’s the first thing that’s occurring to me because I’m catty like that.

I’m catty, too. I have a catty woman. A catty woman is one of my selves. I like catty women. Which ones did you want to do? What do you prefer? You said there would be an easier self.

That was fun. I’ve got the business thing, we are going and doing it. It’s awesome. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it and I finish it. Except when I’m working on my second book but it’s part of my process of pretending like I don’t know what I’m going to write about.

A good catch on yourself. Go on.

It’s this consistent exercise weight loss thing. I do great and then in the seventh inning, I tap out. I’m in the process of tapping out. I’m going back in but what are the options for the different parts that would be influencing that?

Another exercise which we can do but you might want to do later too is to use an image of the tug of war. Which selves are for your fitness, health or whatever aspects of it? Why don’t you list off a few that are for your fitness, whatever they are?

The mom in me wants a long life with my kids. That’s number one.

Look how deep that is. All of ourselves usually have an incredibly deep life-affirming, noble motivation. That’s a good one.

Number two is the other part of me.

Is it on the other side of the tug of war?

No, still on the pro side. It would be nice to feel fabulously hot at the same time because, why not?

Working harder is neither the problem nor the solution to your problems.

Your sexy mama Aphrodite is like, “Come on. Let’s get this thing together.”

I have been able to pull it off here and there. It has been a little grueling these last couple of years. The hormones are changing and stuff. I’m still getting a grip that I’m going to have to freak do a little bit more upleveling there when it comes to that. On the nay side, let me feel into the tug of war here.

I love what you said that you would like to be hot but also I noticed the self that was a little embarrassed about that desire.

That could be on the other side. It could be that thing that we were talking about earlier where you don’t want people to hate you. What if I have cash and success? Bridgit, I have a boyfriend and a husband. Do I need on top of that to be hot, too? That was mind-boggling.

Two boyfriends and two husbands. You will just double your intake.

I am out there claiming whatever the heck I want on the one hand. Not to make light of that but I have more love than I have had. I had more access to wealth than I have ever had in my life. I come from an extremely humble background. If I was one of those people like, “Look at my ripped arm.” I don’t even take selfies.

The one that goes, “Ew,” that’s a self.

I have a resistance to being like, “Check out my bod.” I have always been like that. There’s something there. Maybe my worst fear is I’m going to be a selfie queen taking pictures of me in my yoga tank and pants all the time or something. What do you think about that?

This is an exact exploration. The other thing is what rules are you operating by that you didn’t even know? Even in our short conversation, they are coming up and that is one of the exercises. The rule might be, don’t show off because then that makes you vulnerable. For some people, it’s enjoyment. For other people, you are a target practice now. You even said, “I don’t want people to hate me.”

That’s constant. For a variety of different reasons, I’m a bridge between always being nice like a peacemaker.

A diplomat.

It’s weird for me to say this but I don’t necessarily want to stand out even though I do what I do for a living.

 

The way the final eighth would work is you would go to that and talk to that I-don’t-want-to-stand-out self. You would ask things like, “Where do you live in the body? What do you need from Corin?” Often, in a way, you could call this re-parenting. For some, it’s first parenting. You will never ask that part to feel comfortable doing the selfies in your yoga outfit but you can listen to the concerns of that part and you can probably figure something out with the part that’s okay with what you do.

It’s not about bulldozing these parts because you can’t. They will make you forget to work out or get too busy. They have so much ammo to make you not cross that final eight. Some of them like I was saying about that client, you think you are going to meet this resistor that you expect. You then meet a miss social butterfly who doesn’t ever let you have more than twenty minutes unscheduled in a four-day period.

You then realize that self and that everyone in your outer world loves the social butterfly. That’s the one that’s not helping you cross your goal. A lot of times, who we perceive as the problem, they are not the problem. The one that you never even thought of was the one that was helping you stay stuck but in the most pleasant manner. That’s what I also love about the Voice Dialogue technique. You know what you know but there are always surprises like I described.

I like to put a magnifying glass on something important because a lot of us will shame ourselves because we have this saboteur. We think it’s a saboteur but it’s a security system. It’s a protector to help us feel safe. I want to say that we are all in different types of struggles. I’m open with what my struggles are. We all have some things and need as many tools as we can but a really good step is allowing ourselves to be profoundly human and being curious about, “If there’s a reason for me to keep this weight on, what would it be?”

What’s the gift of keeping the weight on? The book talks about what you brought up, shame, not so directly. Some of us are very committed to our core negative beliefs and that can also be what happens in that final eighth. Those selves that fundamentally believe painful but always false core negative beliefs, “I’m not good enough. I’m unlovable. I’m worthless.” The other thing is it’s the double bind. It’s like, “You are working hard. You are getting seven days away there,” and then it’s like, “You can’t be a success because then nothing works out isn’t true.”

It’s all unconscious and you then find out, “Those selves are still attached to the early models that I grew up with like, ‘There’s not enough or yes for girls but not for boys or vice versa.’” All of those rules that we think we have overcome and we have but their roots started early that some of us aren’t even verbal. They are the ones that often are attached because they went in at age 2, 3 or 4 when it was systematic input as opposed to something that our brain could then put words to. The other thing is doing a voice dialogue to the different parts. As you said, you put the magnifying glass.

Even if a part is very young and doesn’t communicate verbally like that part growl and get mad or whatever it is and then you always go back to center because it’s you. It’s never not you. You start to process the memories that came up maybe of that non-communicative self. You never asked the non-communicative self, “Can you describe to me exactly what’s going on now?” That’s what they don’t do. When you get back to the center you can say, “This is what this part’s history is. This is its gift and its sting.

Maybe you are polished but you are completely disowning and repressing your shy self. It could end up being that your shy self is quietly saying, “I can’t do more than two presentations a year.” If you move up, you are going to be doing two presentations a day most days. You are so unfamiliar in your modern era that you have a shy self and then you are shocked when you go and talk to that shy self but then you are like, “I can take care of that part of me. That part of me does not have to be part of the presentations.”

I sometimes say, “Give that part its favorite babysitter and its snack, and let it do what it does, which is be quiet.” You can bring forth the parts of you that are the ones for the occasion. I can tell you have a powerful CEO. That’s not who your kids want to be watching ‘80s movies with. If you couldn’t drop your business-woman and become a mom, it would be problematic at home. If you couldn’t drop mom and not access your CEO when you are negotiating the next book, you wouldn’t be doing as good a job for yourself as you could.

There are a lot of people trying to accomplish things. It feels like almost everyone I know is in the process of reimagining their life, what they want and digging deeper into their desires. I do a lot of heart-centered business coaching as well. I love that you are calling it The Final 8th because we all have that experience of suddenly losing steam on something.

We all have an invisible wiener, whether you are a man or woman, attached to business and success. Sometimes that wiener is so erect. You are ready to go, passion and all of a sudden, it goes flaccid. I call it the flaccid invisible wiener phase when you can’t even point it in a direction anymore. You thought you were ready to fertilize the world.

Now, you can’t even pee.

A lot of people will meet for coffee and convention, but not for Java and joy.

Getting shit done in the world is an active masculine drive. Being the oracle for yourself is more of a feminine drive and that’s where you receive what you are to do from the spirit or your soul like, “I’ve got my mission. Now I’m going to go do it.” You are close and then the invisible wiener goes flat. I see that so much in my clients. We work through it in different ways trying to identify like, “If the wind got knocked out, why would that be? What’s the worst thing that happens if you finish that book or if you launch that course or whatever?” We go down those roads.

What’s your relationship to virility, to competition, to domination or even your feeling that that’s what it is? It may not even be but you have turned it into like, “I can’t be the aggressor.” You realize, “I’m applying this rule that doesn’t apply.” This is wonderful.

I have to check in on my invisible wiener and go, “How am I feeling now? Am I at a 0 out of 10? Am I at a semi? What’s going on?” Most of the time, I’m at a semi until I’m launching new things.

My invisible wiener is mad because it’s invisible. It’s like, “What the hell? Why am I invisible suddenly now that I know I have one?”

Now that you know, you can play with the image. It’s invisible to others. Mine can be very robust.

We could let the invisible wiener go and speak as the invisible wiener. Even our little bit of silliness, which I love because a lot of my exercises in this book are great fun. In the sequel, we will have the invisible wiener with your permission.

Use up the invisible wiener. It’s too glorious.

You’ve got to share the wieners.

I am full of wisdom. I have a lot of wiener wisdom in me.

Having fun also helps people get unstuck because you usually are so ground down in that negativity or that shame. The other thing is, especially women, we don’t realize how much of our patriarchal expectations that are unexplored are part of our getting stuck in terms of heart-centered success. When you are thinking of that, maybe also, many people will find out that they are stopping themselves.

I talk about in the book that maybe they are somehow like, “I won’t be attractive and thus I won’t get my life partner,” any of that constricting belief. “I will lose love if I gain a career.” I know that so 1950s but shockingly, this dynamic still exists in 2020. Also, we are meeting and COVID, we’ve got to be able to access different parts of ourselves because the world is different regardless of what happens.

Let’s say you are attached to not being a techie. You better up your techie skills and get some type of inner techie or else you will not be a viable person. The other thing is knowing that you are full of different selves and that you can choose to cultivate certain selves that are necessary to make you succeed in this new time and maybe to be awake, to not fall asleep. Let’s say some of the politicians that we want to get elected. That doesn’t mean we fall asleep about social justice and global justice, AKA the climate and the animals also. It can be powerful, especially during these times.

 

We are all having to tap into different resources because what was working a year ago is not working now.

If it even exists. Some things simply don’t exist anymore.

Some of our strategies have to adapt. It’s in your book that crises can create new selves. What are you seeing down on the ground in your practice with COVID and from people that you have been talking to?

A crisis can cultivate new selves. Separate from COVID, when people get a diagnosis, they have cells that step up to the plate. What I’m seeing with my clients is what I would call frayed nerves. They have held on so long. The uncertainty and all of these fissures are now open, which as I like to say, I’m glad it’s visible because it wasn’t visible before. It’s not new. This is where technology can help ideally for there to be more justice.

I’m talking about accessing self-care selves to the best of people’s abilities. If they have a sense of hold off for a bit to follow those impulses because sometimes not doing is more effective than doing in a particular situation. It’s the frayed nerves. Somebody once said, “What might have been a snow day now is winter. We weren’t expecting winter so early.”

Winter is coming. It’s going to be a long winter. It’s similar to the people that I’m working with. My peeps are developing new strategies. Everybody is tired of being tired and not knowing what’s going to happen. Some people are doing better than others. There are people whose big strategy was to be hyper-vigilant and control every moment of their day. Some people like that have been struggling in a big way to learn the act of surrender.

You’ve got to focus on what matters. Your micro life, your family, whatever you are doing here down on the ground, focus on that. Turn off the narratives at least 90% of the time and do not forget to create. Stay focused on your creation and create. We are all in the same boat. We go up and down. You have a lot of strategies. I have tons of strategies, too. It doesn’t mean that it helps. Sometimes we sink, we lose traction and then we have to come back up. Everybody is going through that. Have you been re-navigating since COVID?

Yes, absolutely but it’s worked in my favor because I was wanting to shift and was not quite sure how or what. I’m blessed that my business probably likes yours easily moved online.

I was already online mostly. Everybody is coming to the party now. I’m like, “This is what you do, Zoom. Do you know how many Zoom tutorials I have gotten? Let’s not forget about breakout rooms. You can do breakout rooms.” It’s fun. You were doing a lot of in-person.

Yes. That was a big shift. Also, with my book out and moving into courses that I will be teaching the final eighth courses. It has been quite helpful when you don’t have it in you, let that self have the evening. Give yourself the Netflix that evening. That’s the other thing. You can’t put the same expectations on yourself. I have been navigating but I’ve enjoyed it for myself. In a lot of places, I didn’t have time to get better like social media and those things, I have learned many skills and helped others do so.

It’s fun. We are going through some stuff so we need all the strategies we can get and all the tools. I love this, in particular, and your book, The Final 8th. Bridgit, before we close it down, do you have anything else that you want to share with our peeps?

Thank you. Every third Thursday of the month, I offer with my colleague a free Zoom shop showing two small voice dialogue sessions so that people can get a sense of what it looks like. You are welcome. Everyone is welcome. You have to contact me for that month’s Zoom info. Please feel free to contact me. I’m all over social media. Final8th.com is my website. Bridgit@Final8th.com is my email. That’s every third Thursday at 8:00 PM Eastern. Please, we love people to come.

It’s real. Nothing is rehearsed. We do the session. What self do you feel like dialoguing with? We then go there. We go to a second self and you get to see it in action. It’s amazing. It’s such a healing technique. That’s one of the big things. One of the reasons I moved from being a performer to going back to school and becoming a psychotherapist was the healing power of voice dialogue. It blew me away over and over in how quickly it helped that I started to lose interest in the performing pursuit because it was vital and invigorating what was happening. This is an amazing technique that is transformational.

I’m going to do some more tug of war trying to hack the system there. Thank you so much for sharing your gift with us and for bringing this awesome energy you brought into our community.

Thank you for my eagle reminder.

Talk to eagles since eagles are coming back around to you.

I will talk to the eagles.

It’s such a pleasure.

Thanks for having me. It was lovely to be with you.

Anytime. Make sure to grab her book, The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals.

Important links

• Bridgit Dengel Gaspard
• The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves To Accomplish Your Goals
• The Story of Jumping Mouse
• Sybil
• Voice Dialogue
• Eric Morris
• Bridgit@Final8th.com

About Bridgit Dengel Gaspard

Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW, is the author of The Final 8th and the founder of the New York Voice Dialogue Institute. She is a former performer who earned a master’s degree from Columbia University and teaches at numerous professional settings including Omega Institute. She lives in New York City, where she maintains a thriving private practice. Visit her online at https://www.final8th.com.

 

 

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